Tuesday, October 19, 2010

~ Let's get lost ~

Sometimes I wish to let everything behind me, pack my bags and go wherever the wind blows me to. Perhaps just by myself. Like Elliott sings "Burning every bridge that I cross to find some beautiful place to get lost". At the moment I'm sitting on my balcony, packed in a fleece suit and starring in the rain, thinking.
Actually I'm on my way to my final exams, which start in 5,5 weeks. Time flies by and while I was lying in bed (the last weeks) with a huge bronchitis and a cough that scares me a lot, because it sounds like I work in a coal mine or something, I had to work, to learn and especially to write every day exercise tests. But...I couldn't. I don't know why. This is the first time in my life, I am really paralyzed in front of some tests. Perhaps my illness doesn't go away due to this current situation. But now I HAVE to make a new start. Being positive again and strong like I was in the past and don't let my stressed nerves freak me out. One of my best friends is telling me the whole time, I won't pass my exams, if I don't learn myself to death right now. What she means is: learning from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. But I know myself and I know this doesn't work out for me. If I will do that, I'm getting more and more stressed and in the end I will be more worn out than I'm actually are right now.
The problem is: I don't like the subject I'm learning for. I didn't like it during the past, but I didn't quit. It doesn't matter what it is. But I have quickly find a sense in it, because if I wait any longer, it really IS too late. I have to find a way to pass through this next weeks. The tests will go over 2 weeks. After that I'm free. I hope someone believes in me. I know many people who doesn't. But my little sister is always on my side and honestly the best friend you could ever imagine. I don't want to sound so depressed or desperate. I know, times are getting better and anyway, I will go through this all. But at the moment, this is really hard and I try not to wack out. Have you ever been to a similar situation? And how did you deal with it?

Love love, Mel <3

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Trip to Botanical Garden

Last weekend, we went to the botanical garden of my ancient university. I often go there at the moment to learn in the library, because the environment is so familiar for me and I'm not alone while I'm sitting there and reading textbooks. When I'm feeling lonely, I can make a call and one of my friends is always available for coffee. Last saturday, we went to the botanic garden, to enjoy nature. But there were so many people. During the week, when I sometimes go there,
there is always just me :)

There is an old tank or pool...whatever. Some weeks ago, a lovely friend of mine showed me, that in this pool are about 10 huge koi-carps and hundreds of small other fishes. They come to the border of the pool and we can feed them. It's amazing, they are so huge and make loud noises when they eat. I tried to make some pictures, but the quality is really bad. I'm sorry for this. Always, I pushed the button on my camera, the kois submerged. It seemed, they didn't want to be photographed. But here are my trials:

The flower has the same colour than my nail polish ;)

Last but not least: me. I'm looking a bit of sad, but I think this comes of my bronchitis, that doesn't go away since 5 weeks and I'm really pissed off. This weekend I nearly spent the whole time in bed, trying to sleep as much as I can to get ready for the week and for learning. My exam tests will start in 6 weeks and I'm so getting nervous. I hope from tomorrow on, everything is getting better :) New week, new luck!

Hope you all have a good start in this week! Love, love, Mel <3

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Update on Lina

After some weeks of medication and care, Lina is now feeling well and fit ;) She behaves in a normal way and during the night, she runs in her bogie wheel and collects lots of grains. Due to the last weeks, she got even more gentle. And if I took her on my hand, she cuddles up to me. I think, she knows exactly, that all the bad experiences at the vet and with the medication, that tasted really bad for her, helped her to get better and now being healthy again.
Hope she's keeping well for the rest of her life <3

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Brave Lina

A few weeks ago, I introduced my Djungarian Hamster Lina to you. She's the cutest little animal in the whole world. Last week, she got very ill. I thought she would die, although she isn't even one year old. I ran to the vet several times, who is fortunately in my block. In the end, he had to operate on Lina. This was very risky due to the fact, that those extreme small animals often die under anesthetics. But luck was on our side!!! Lina was so brave. And while I was sitting in my room, praying for her little life, she fighted like a lion and survived the surgery. The vet was surprised by her and my dedication, because I read everything in the web about her illnes and how I could help her and asked him thousands of questions. Now she is getting better with every day. I have to give her antibiotics and pain killer and she sleeps a lot. But during the night, she is collecting grains again, so I know, she is getting better ;)